ACMindworks

Tag: jesus

  • Giving Honor to Venus

    Jan 17: Going to go somewhat stream of consciousness here. Whether this proves to be something worth repurposing for the blog will be determined later (Spoiler: it is). A thought process was stirring through me this morning after reading some of Aleister Crowley’s Clouds Without Water; a series of poetic verses that explore a man’s thoughts and feelings regarding his sexual lesion with a young woman named Lola, an expression of the Mary archetype in her “Mother of Tears” (or sorrow) form. Each part of the poem explores the dynamic from a different archetypal lens, such as the Alchemist, the Hermit, and the Theurgist, shining its own quality of light (awareness) onto the power and allure of sexual desire.

    For me, the poem is providing yet another stream of insight—another key of understanding—regarding the process of restoring Venus’ placement within my own psyche. The basic sense that the poem was inspiring was the notion that a necessary form of salvation is found through sexual union, particularly for the feminine (yin/receptive) side of the life equation. The risk there, however, is the ever present potential for sliding into the abyss through excessive indulgence; the nihilistic danger of the hedonist. Salvation is the key word in the previous claim, as the thought equation I’m working out here is fundamentally connected to the Christ essence.

    Before building the idea further, I want to refresh and expand beyond the idea I introduced in the last post regarding the basic expressions of light and the triangular way they operate. This whole notion is firmly and fundamentally rooted in the Tree of Life diagram. In the case of the particular thought equation I’m formulating, I’m really only going to be dealing with the etheric/solar trinity and the astral/lunar trinity. The divine only needs to be recognized as the originating source of all that is, and the material plane as that which ultimately manifests the energetic processes.

    As previously mentioned, the astral/lunar trinity has a foundation built from the polarity of intellectual/abstract/objective information processing and feeling/sensory/subjective information processing; themselves being a kind of lower octave, lesser expression of the Heaven/yang/authority and Earth/yin/hedonist dynamic. These two polarities determine the direction and intention of astral light—or lunar consciousness—operating as imagination, fantasy, idealism, fear, and delusion.

        Intellectual   Sensory

         Mercury   Venus

    Astral Light

         Moon

    This is essentially the realm of ego (the lesser, smaller, diffused and reflected facsimile of the divine singularity). The polarized foundation corresponds with the solar plexus chakra (or power center, actualized through mind and body), informed by the relational nature of the duality, whether imbalanced, antagonistic and ultimately neurotic (the Saturnian split), or cooperative, cohesive and harmonious (healthy self-esteem/value rooted in rightness). The lunar tip corresponds to the sacral center, or creative, sexual impulse. It is the quality and intention of the lunar light, as informed by the energetic data encoded into mind and body, that determines what is made manifest in the material plane (the root chakra, or survival center).

    The etheric/solar trinity is built from the polarized foundation of judgement/right thought and action/karmic cause and effect on one side, and mercy/compassion/ loving embrace on the other, focusing into the point at the triangle’s tip as solar light (the Christ essence, or Christ consciousness).

     Judgement Compassion

                                            Mars                          Jupiter

    Etheric Light

            Sun

    It is through harmonizing our consciousness to this essence that clearer, truer, fuller awareness is achieved; an awareness informed by and inspiring within an embodied state of genuine love and compassion, and true ethical understanding (Karma, Krishna, Christ). Judgement without compassion creates the tyrannical, oppressive and destructive condemnation of the authority (Yahweh), and compassion without judgement enables the indulgence of nihilistic, disrespectful, degrading hedonism (Satan), both imbalances creating disorder in the heart center/solar, Christ sphere. Honesty and integrity allows for the intuitive sense of right judgement; patience and forgiveness are the means by which true compassion is produced; all of these are qualities in which the ego struggles with. The ego orients towards keeping the mind obscured within delusion and illusion; judgement enacted from hurt pride or imaginary fear, and compassion misused to indulge and enable dysfunctional addiction.

    There is a formula in esoteric thought that goes like this: Sun over Moon. The reason for this is that sun light is “true” light; self-derived, constant, clear and authentic, and filled with warm life force. Moon light is illusory light, only a reflection of the sun’s, inconsistent in its expression, cold and lacking in life force, and limited in its capacity to illuminate, though undeniably beautiful and affecting (much like our dreams and ideals).

    Running this thought equation through christian symbolism, the Christ is the solar emanation (the heart chakra), and the foundation of its polarized action—it’s passion—is bringing judgement/correct alignment and compassion/forgiveness into the world (matter). It is the emanation of the divine (the source) into the astral (the ego), radiating light onto the moon, into our imagination, into our minds. But not just our minds, our bodies as well, for to be truly informed by the solar/Christ essence is to feel it in its sensory expression as much as to know it intellectually.

    Now I’m going to return to the base of the lunar/astral triangle, and particularly to its left, or feminine, side. This is the most crucial point on the lunar trinity for whether or not the solar light can truly get into the material realm and actualize (become embodied), and I would say that this is the point that our society is largely ignorant of and, qualitatively speaking, deficient in.

    This is the realm of Venus. This is the realm of beauty and relationships. And in the Jesus story formula, this is Mary. Not just Mother Mary—the pure, virginal expression; the untouched vessel that receives the Christ essence—but also Mary Magdalene, the sexually active expression, who potentially, if one were to subscribe to this rather contentious interpretation of the story, receives Jesus, the man, physically as wife. Venus/Mary is both of these expressions. Needs to be both, held together as one. A pure, virginal (which is to say humble, grateful, respectful and spacious, or egoless) vessel for the etheric essence (ethical, loving essence) to enter, and a carnally enjoyed, sexually worshiped, tangibly appreciated human woman (the sensuous embrace of the ego).

    Jesus being married (Mary’d) is a vital part of that story’s restoration as far as I’m concerned, as it represents an important facet of the spiritual formula encoded and expressed through it. That the gift of the Christ isn’t that he died for our sins (a distorted, manipulative misuse of that story to instill guilt and shame in human consciousness—emotionally disruptive and disorderly states—and thereby allow the authority/Yahweh/demiurge to maintain its control), but rather that he embraced life. That he loved life. His marriage to Mary Magdalene represents that. Same as the sun giving of its light and warmth to the earth.

    Life/matter/mother/ the matrix is something to love. Is worthy of love. Is precious and valuable. As is the ego, which is something to nurture and care for. The Christ might connect to the sun, but so does the Lion, the animal, the lower self. Embodying the Christ means properly caring for the ego. We need to feed that Lion, take it for walks, cuddle it, pet it, make it feel loved. Rendering Mary Magdalene as a whore debases the feminine, degrades Venus, damages the ego, and disorients human consciousness, evoking either a resisting rejection of her and what she represents, or inspiring a rebellious, resentful counter reaction expressed through narcissistic overinflation.. When honor and care is not provided for the essence of Mary Magdalene, she either withers away or becomes a succubus.

    I believe this is a significant part of the process I have been enacting and mentally working out through this blog, restoring my relationship to Venus and feeling a renewed sense of beauty’s value, of its power and importance. And I believe this is best done through a measured balance of honoring both the pure, incorruptible essence of Mother Mary and the alluring, arousing, sensuously pleasing Mary Magdalene at the same time. As a cohesive whole. As men—and even further, as any mind drawn in by beauty’s allure—it is vital that we be mindful and conscious of the quality of energetic attention being projected onto the essence held by Venus/Mary, embracing and appreciating it with love, respect, reverence and integrity, for that is how we will allow the etheric/Christ essence to truly manifest and become embodied within the sensory/feeling part of the astral apparatus, and thus have it truly inform our material manifestations.

    As one final thought to tie into all of this, I’m going to share of an experience I had while camping down at the stream near my family’s farm. I had taken a decent dose of mushrooms and MDMA, following three days of consciously opening to and engaging with the energies and environment. The substances wound up hitting me so strongly that I essentially disappeared for a while, my sense of self completely submerged in the tsunami of energy washing through me. I returned to awareness to find myself loudly, resonantly repeating OM over and over. I was then completely overtaken with the most all encompassing, pronounced and profound feeling of love. This was a depth and scope of love beyond anything I had ever felt before (or since—at least thus far), and in that moment I knew it to be the ultimate truth. That everything else seemingly perceived to the contrary are simply the delusional fears concocted by the ignorance of the ego.

    It was truly incredible! And in that experience I was brought to the powerfully affecting thought, amplified by a very potent feeling, that, as a man, to fully and properly love the feminine, to truly fulfill and honor what women are, required the absolute, committed, loving devotion to one woman. Not to say lesser forms of love cannot be achieved otherwise, but at best, an element of lacking will always be present. I believe there is a far deeper significance to marriage than the superficial way we currently interpret it, and for me, this restored story of Jesus marrying Mary further reinforces that. True love is devotion to that which is beyond ego (the astral) yet also encompasses it, and marriage is the ritualistic arrangement actualizing that unifying sacrament.

    But all of this is just the way I’m seeing it right now, these words simply just my own efforts towards trying to make sense of the various thoughts and feelings swirling together throughout my mind and body. Take what you will from it. Hopefully there’s a few golden nuggets of insight to be found.

  • The Saturnian Split prt 2

    Dec 18: I just had an odd experience that has caused me to question some of the content in the previous post, as well as how exactly to approach this one, being that it’s meant to be the second part. I’m going to be employing a very free flowing, spur of the moment writing style as I work it out. Not that I don’t generally write that way, it’ll just be a little more pronounced here.

    I was just getting back from a bit of a wander around the town I’m currently in, San Isidro, when I got stopped by a trio of immigration officers. They questioned me about my stay, wanting to see my currently unequipped passport. I don’t exactly carry that around with me everywhere I go. I have no idea if this is a common thing that they do, checking out random gringos to see if they’ve overstayed, or if they were looking for someone in particular. I haven’t witnessed anything like this throughout the two months that I’ve been here. Obviously it all went fine since I haven’t broken any laws, though they did chastise me a bit for not having my passport on me.

    On a surface level, the experience itself was really just a minor curiosity, but when I consider the symbolic sequence it’s a part of, that’s where my contemplative questioning crops up. The fact that I had a tangible encounter with an expression of authority the day after uploading my mini deconstruction of Saturn’s dysfunctional split is enough to make me pause. Honestly, that part of the post was the first thing I had written up that I hesitated to share here since starting this blog .

    There’s an idea in some esoteric traditions that strongly advises against revealing too much about the workings of Saturn. It actually goes even further than that, the notion being that speaking too plainly or openly about higher level power in general can attract unwelcome issues. Thus the historic tendency towards secret societies, political obfuscation, and even phrases such as “don’t throw pearls to swine.” To know is to dare, to dare is to will, to will is to remain silent is one of the tenants of hermetic philosophy. And here I am blabbing away about it, likely allowing my own ignorant thinker to foolishly stumble through ideas that may well need to remain hidden for the operations for this whole earthly, human thing not to go to shit. Ah well, I suppose I’ll just have to continue riding the wave of my own inclination to express and hope I don’t get pummeled by some sort of unseen karmic surf.  

    There’s a common sentiment among the common man that the so called elites hoard and hide power and knowledge away for their own selfish gain, and that we the people deserve to possess it ourselves. Maybe that’s true to an extent, but my own mental meanderings have lead me to the view that there’s likely much more involved in all that. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, humans have a tendency towards self-victimization, which includes looking for someone or something to blame whenever our sense of personal power is in any way threatened. The image that comes to mind is of a toddler throwing a temper tantrum when things don’t go exactly his way. It’s far too easy to misuse power to fulfill egoic impulses and wants, the hunger for the object of desire obscuring objectivity. The more an individual is driven and informed by their own personal wants, or even just a desperation to sooth emotional and sensory discomfort, the more likely they are to misuse power and mess things up.

    There’s something of an energetic resonance between narcissistic impulse and childish emotionality, revealed through an inability to take responsibility for tempering the sensations of hunger and want, or the destructive consequences that can emerge when selfish desire is given into. Perhaps my perspective is skewed through a lens of observation greased up with pessimistic expectation, but I haven’t seen too many examples of individuals who aren’t prone towards some form of easy self-centeredness when push comes to shove. There’s been numerous examples of that throughout history, and more than a few that have happened in the last handful of years. The craving for power is weird that way, and that weirdness really does appear to show up in those that manage to get their hands on a level of authority operating beyond their ego’s capacity to wield it responsibly.

    I think it’s a safe statement to make that the craving for power and authority is rooted in fear. Such a response leads to an emotionally charged need to possess the means to control the factors that might cause the feared effects to manifest into one’s experience. In that state of being is a powerful desire to preserve a particular arrangement of life facets.

    Why did the immigration officers interrogate me? Because they want to maintain a certain status quo for Costa Rica. Why do people get so riled up over politics? Because it determines the kind of life they’re able to live. Why might a man work a job that causes harm to people or the environment? Because it secures his family’s future. Why do people obey the laws decreed by their god? Because it assures the salvation of their soul. What do all of these things have in common? A fear of loss. A fear of change. The steady comforts of the familiar giving way to an unwanted, unsettling novelty.

    And what is it that allows for change? Time. And who is Father Time? Saturn. So here we find that Saturnian influence once again.

    But is is so wrong to want to preserve something felt to be precious? That’s a question I find more challenging to answer. On a personal level, there’s plenty of aspects in my life I work at maintaining and preserving, my anxieties over their potential loss more than enough motivation for me to persist. But on a philosophical level, there’s no way for me to deny the inescapable reality of impermanence and the ephemerality of all manifested existence. To tether my well being upon something that is innately unreliable strikes me as kind of insane.

    So then why place any emphasize on the ephemeral at all? At the heart of all mystical, spiritual traditions is the consistent message of “release your attachment to the world.” Time is not real, simply an illusion, for there is only the eternal NOW. All you must do is shave the N off the NO, releasing your resistance, flip the OW the other way around, transcending pain, and vibrate with the eternal vowel OM!

    OOOOOMMMM..!

    I’ve had moments, man, where that understanding is directly experienced, and I genuinely do feel an astounding, unending, overwhelming love and goodness. It’s why I truly do believe in God (or Divine Source or Ain Soph or Brahma or Whatever). But something always pulls me back into my ego. Back into the illusion. Back into the matrix. Back into samsara. Like my soul is still searching for something here, and isn’t ready to leave until it finds it (or perhaps fully comes to understand that there is truly nothing to search for. The sages certainly seem to think so.) And there’s that split in my soul. The fracture in my mind. That which wants to be superior and supreme, and that which wants to remain with all the scattered pieces and parts of sensual experience. As much as the higher part of me might want to rid itself of the lower part of me (and perhaps the same is true the other way around, only more subtle and sneaky in its affect), the lower will not yield. I have put an enormous amount of effort towards transcending the material illusion, studying all those esoteric texts and undertaking ceremonial acts and meditating and visualizing and on and on and on… but the gravity of my humanity continues to pull energy and attention into my own ego.

    So do I remain split? Do I continue to identify with the self-righteous superior side and remain an abusive authority towards the weaker, needier part of my nature, always angry with it simply for existing? I certainly could, and I think plenty of people do, but I don’t think that’s the answer anymore.

    Enter the Christ essence! And where does that essence find its home? The heart! The sun of God at the center of the solar/personal system. The sphere sandwiched between the higher and lower chakras. The beauty of the Christ isn’t that he died on a cross for our sins, it’s that he chose to manifest here in the first place. If the world was so rotten, why bother showing up at all? Why not just leave it to self implode through its own ignorant indulgence and allow that energy to be channeled into something more useful? I think it’s because there’s genuinely something good here. Something worthwhile. Something valuable. I believe that’s what the Christ story is really revealing.

    Forget the guilt over his execution. Why would the eternal emanation of the divine make a big deal over having to shed a meat suit? Sure, that part of the story reveals the cruelty of ignorant, arrogant authority- which is a useful lesson, no doubt, and ties into what I’m talking about- but the real gift was the act of manifesting into the world. If the divine embraces this place, then so should we. So could we. There’s so much to love about the realm of this world. So many treasures to be found in sensual experience.

    The inspiring movements of music!

    The fabulous combinations of flavor!

    The soothing, stirring sight of beauty!

    The fragrant bursts and stimulating smells!

    Cuddles and closeness, hugs and kisses, and intimate entwining!

    Sunsets and stars, kittens and kids, laughter and celebration, endless artistic expressions, and the sheer joy of ever emerging fresh experience!

    None of it is perfect, but that’s not its purpose. It all comes coupled with pain, but that’s a price well worth paying to preserve what this place provides. And there’s Saturn’s influence yet again. Despite being a self righteous tyrant on that right hand and a self indulgent hedonist on the left, it’s his (her?) efforts that keeps this whole thing going. So the energetic equation plays out as the authoritative side of Saturn getting lambasted by the hedonistic side, always seen as the bad guy or bully or the mean ol’ parent that won’t let us have any fun and makes us go to bed before we want to, imposing restrictive pain where we want unending pleasure. But that’s the part keeping this entire process operational, keeping the hunger for more from going overboard. That equation applies to the personal, internal processes as well. That is the equation of the ego.

    Yeah, that archetypal influence is overly attached to itself and what it creates, but that’s rooted in a kind of love. An ignorant kind of love maybe, but it’s still love, and love is good. That love just needs to be illuminated with greater awareness; an opening of the heart so deeper understanding can inform the action here. I’ve been thinking lately that might be what is implied by Christmas emerging from Saturnalia. During Saturnalia, the Roman authorities would defer their control, and the people would be free to indulge themselves through feasts, parties, orgies and gift giving. Hedonism taken to an extreme. For seven days the authority softens its hard heart and allows pleasure to flow freely. I wonder if that wasn’t how the Christ essence was able to settle into humanity. The hyper vigilant consciousness of the collective controlling mind opening through chaotic ecstasy, allowing a higher love to get in. Is that reflected in things like conceiving of sex as love making? Is that the unacknowledged goodness found in the hedonistic impulse? Is the Christ implying that holistic, healing love is achieved through exalted sensual appreciation? Embracing and accepting this realm for what it is rather than chastising it for what it can’t be?

    From that lens it would seem that the Christ is all about restoring the Saturnian split and synthesizing its two parts together to create a state of being that is exalted. Fear based authority and control soothed through sensual acceptance, and hedonistic indulgence tempered by softly spoken responsibility and respect. Symbolic images like the sun (of God) being “born” on the solstice, the cross being the unfoldment of the closed off cube, and Yeshua being a name that combines Yahweh and savior (is it savior from Yahweh or  for Yahweh?) would all seem to correspond to the notion I’m attempting to lay out here.

    I had this thought a while back during a meditation that God/Saturn/The Authority/The Patriarchy/Whatever Else Relates actually needs to be forgiven for the ways its misused its power and given gratitude for everything its done to get us to this point. That what we need to do, personally and collectively, is not to fight or protest or push up against that force, but rather prove to it that we can take responsibility for ourselves and the ways in which we effect the operations of this realm. To prove to it that we don’t actually need its controlling hand any more to keep us in check. That we’re willing to grow up and let go of our ignorant, childish, superstitious fantasies and fears regarding material existence. That we can love this world through consciously enjoying it while also honoring it by tempering our attachments towards it.

    I really like the idea of this. It’s something that has begun to underline much of my inner development, leading me to this notion of needing cohesion between all of my parts. That I am to hold heaven and earth together in my heart. It has also brought up numerous challenges, some of which have been imparted in these posts but many that go much deeper than what has so far been revealed. I know first hand that this idea is not one easily implemented. But I’m gonna stick with it until something better enters my mind.

    All right, I really rambled on here, but I got into a flow and didn’t want to stop. I want to reiterate that I’m writing these more so for myself and not to convince anyone of anything or proclaim an answer. I’m just trying to figure this life biz out here, working it out through words as I go, and posting these only as a curiosity for those that might be curious. My mind works in a fairly abstract manner and symbolic, mythical language is a medium I use to make sense of it. I know there can be strong emotions and beliefs tied to these images, so I just want to say I never mean any disrespect and use them in my own processes with a lot of reverence and appreciation. That being said, I think I’ve said enough here. Wishing the world a wonderful Christmas/Saturnalia/Solstice/Whatever You Jive With!