Jan 17: Going to go somewhat stream of consciousness here. Whether this proves to be something worth repurposing for the blog will be determined later (Spoiler: it is). A thought process was stirring through me this morning after reading some of Aleister Crowley’s Clouds Without Water; a series of poetic verses that explore a man’s thoughts and feelings regarding his sexual lesion with a young woman named Lola, an expression of the Mary archetype in her “Mother of Tears” (or sorrow) form. Each part of the poem explores the dynamic from a different archetypal lens, such as the Alchemist, the Hermit, and the Theurgist, shining its own quality of light (awareness) onto the power and allure of sexual desire.
For me, the poem is providing yet another stream of insight—another key of understanding—regarding the process of restoring Venus’ placement within my own psyche. The basic sense that the poem was inspiring was the notion that a necessary form of salvation is found through sexual union, particularly for the feminine (yin/receptive) side of the life equation. The risk there, however, is the ever present potential for sliding into the abyss through excessive indulgence; the nihilistic danger of the hedonist. Salvation is the key word in the previous claim, as the thought equation I’m working out here is fundamentally connected to the Christ essence.
Before building the idea further, I want to refresh and expand beyond the idea I introduced in the last post regarding the basic expressions of light and the triangular way they operate. This whole notion is firmly and fundamentally rooted in the Tree of Life diagram. In the case of the particular thought equation I’m formulating, I’m really only going to be dealing with the etheric/solar trinity and the astral/lunar trinity. The divine only needs to be recognized as the originating source of all that is, and the material plane as that which ultimately manifests the energetic processes.
As previously mentioned, the astral/lunar trinity has a foundation built from the polarity of intellectual/abstract/objective information processing and feeling/sensory/subjective information processing; themselves being a kind of lower octave, lesser expression of the Heaven/yang/authority and Earth/yin/hedonist dynamic. These two polarities determine the direction and intention of astral light—or lunar consciousness—operating as imagination, fantasy, idealism, fear, and delusion.
Intellectual Sensory
Mercury Venus
Astral Light
Moon
This is essentially the realm of ego (the lesser, smaller, diffused and reflected facsimile of the divine singularity). The polarized foundation corresponds with the solar plexus chakra (or power center, actualized through mind and body), informed by the relational nature of the duality, whether imbalanced, antagonistic and ultimately neurotic (the Saturnian split), or cooperative, cohesive and harmonious (healthy self-esteem/value rooted in rightness). The lunar tip corresponds to the sacral center, or creative, sexual impulse. It is the quality and intention of the lunar light, as informed by the energetic data encoded into mind and body, that determines what is made manifest in the material plane (the root chakra, or survival center).
The etheric/solar trinity is built from the polarized foundation of judgement/right thought and action/karmic cause and effect on one side, and mercy/compassion/ loving embrace on the other, focusing into the point at the triangle’s tip as solar light (the Christ essence, or Christ consciousness).
Judgement Compassion
Mars Jupiter
Etheric Light
Sun
It is through harmonizing our consciousness to this essence that clearer, truer, fuller awareness is achieved; an awareness informed by and inspiring within an embodied state of genuine love and compassion, and true ethical understanding (Karma, Krishna, Christ). Judgement without compassion creates the tyrannical, oppressive and destructive condemnation of the authority (Yahweh), and compassion without judgement enables the indulgence of nihilistic, disrespectful, degrading hedonism (Satan), both imbalances creating disorder in the heart center/solar, Christ sphere. Honesty and integrity allows for the intuitive sense of right judgement; patience and forgiveness are the means by which true compassion is produced; all of these are qualities in which the ego struggles with. The ego orients towards keeping the mind obscured within delusion and illusion; judgement enacted from hurt pride or imaginary fear, and compassion misused to indulge and enable dysfunctional addiction.
There is a formula in esoteric thought that goes like this: Sun over Moon. The reason for this is that sun light is “true” light; self-derived, constant, clear and authentic, and filled with warm life force. Moon light is illusory light, only a reflection of the sun’s, inconsistent in its expression, cold and lacking in life force, and limited in its capacity to illuminate, though undeniably beautiful and affecting (much like our dreams and ideals).
Running this thought equation through christian symbolism, the Christ is the solar emanation (the heart chakra), and the foundation of its polarized action—it’s passion—is bringing judgement/correct alignment and compassion/forgiveness into the world (matter). It is the emanation of the divine (the source) into the astral (the ego), radiating light onto the moon, into our imagination, into our minds. But not just our minds, our bodies as well, for to be truly informed by the solar/Christ essence is to feel it in its sensory expression as much as to know it intellectually.
Now I’m going to return to the base of the lunar/astral triangle, and particularly to its left, or feminine, side. This is the most crucial point on the lunar trinity for whether or not the solar light can truly get into the material realm and actualize (become embodied), and I would say that this is the point that our society is largely ignorant of and, qualitatively speaking, deficient in.
This is the realm of Venus. This is the realm of beauty and relationships. And in the Jesus story formula, this is Mary. Not just Mother Mary—the pure, virginal expression; the untouched vessel that receives the Christ essence—but also Mary Magdalene, the sexually active expression, who potentially, if one were to subscribe to this rather contentious interpretation of the story, receives Jesus, the man, physically as wife. Venus/Mary is both of these expressions. Needs to be both, held together as one. A pure, virginal (which is to say humble, grateful, respectful and spacious, or egoless) vessel for the etheric essence (ethical, loving essence) to enter, and a carnally enjoyed, sexually worshiped, tangibly appreciated human woman (the sensuous embrace of the ego).
Jesus being married (Mary’d) is a vital part of that story’s restoration as far as I’m concerned, as it represents an important facet of the spiritual formula encoded and expressed through it. That the gift of the Christ isn’t that he died for our sins (a distorted, manipulative misuse of that story to instill guilt and shame in human consciousness—emotionally disruptive and disorderly states—and thereby allow the authority/Yahweh/demiurge to maintain its control), but rather that he embraced life. That he loved life. His marriage to Mary Magdalene represents that. Same as the sun giving of its light and warmth to the earth.
Life/matter/mother/ the matrix is something to love. Is worthy of love. Is precious and valuable. As is the ego, which is something to nurture and care for. The Christ might connect to the sun, but so does the Lion, the animal, the lower self. Embodying the Christ means properly caring for the ego. We need to feed that Lion, take it for walks, cuddle it, pet it, make it feel loved. Rendering Mary Magdalene as a whore debases the feminine, degrades Venus, damages the ego, and disorients human consciousness, evoking either a resisting rejection of her and what she represents, or inspiring a rebellious, resentful counter reaction expressed through narcissistic overinflation.. When honor and care is not provided for the essence of Mary Magdalene, she either withers away or becomes a succubus.
I believe this is a significant part of the process I have been enacting and mentally working out through this blog, restoring my relationship to Venus and feeling a renewed sense of beauty’s value, of its power and importance. And I believe this is best done through a measured balance of honoring both the pure, incorruptible essence of Mother Mary and the alluring, arousing, sensuously pleasing Mary Magdalene at the same time. As a cohesive whole. As men—and even further, as any mind drawn in by beauty’s allure—it is vital that we be mindful and conscious of the quality of energetic attention being projected onto the essence held by Venus/Mary, embracing and appreciating it with love, respect, reverence and integrity, for that is how we will allow the etheric/Christ essence to truly manifest and become embodied within the sensory/feeling part of the astral apparatus, and thus have it truly inform our material manifestations.
As one final thought to tie into all of this, I’m going to share of an experience I had while camping down at the stream near my family’s farm. I had taken a decent dose of mushrooms and MDMA, following three days of consciously opening to and engaging with the energies and environment. The substances wound up hitting me so strongly that I essentially disappeared for a while, my sense of self completely submerged in the tsunami of energy washing through me. I returned to awareness to find myself loudly, resonantly repeating OM over and over. I was then completely overtaken with the most all encompassing, pronounced and profound feeling of love. This was a depth and scope of love beyond anything I had ever felt before (or since—at least thus far), and in that moment I knew it to be the ultimate truth. That everything else seemingly perceived to the contrary are simply the delusional fears concocted by the ignorance of the ego.
It was truly incredible! And in that experience I was brought to the powerfully affecting thought, amplified by a very potent feeling, that, as a man, to fully and properly love the feminine, to truly fulfill and honor what women are, required the absolute, committed, loving devotion to one woman. Not to say lesser forms of love cannot be achieved otherwise, but at best, an element of lacking will always be present. I believe there is a far deeper significance to marriage than the superficial way we currently interpret it, and for me, this restored story of Jesus marrying Mary further reinforces that. True love is devotion to that which is beyond ego (the astral) yet also encompasses it, and marriage is the ritualistic arrangement actualizing that unifying sacrament.
But all of this is just the way I’m seeing it right now, these words simply just my own efforts towards trying to make sense of the various thoughts and feelings swirling together throughout my mind and body. Take what you will from it. Hopefully there’s a few golden nuggets of insight to be found.
ACMindworks 